Anthony Delaney at Ivy Manchester

There is an internal tension that all of us carry, associated with our appetites Because we ALL want MORE Appetites isn’t just about food. There’s sex too. and sleep (those three pretty much satisfy men). There are other appetites too for love, to feel successful. But each one of them at some point creates tension. Becuse they only have that one word in their vocab – MORE!As a leader, you will always have to relate to the need for – Progress, greater responsibility, respect. Growth. Fame. ‘I saw your article!’ We are humble on the outside but there is an appetite to envied. We want to win (we know it sounds ungodly but there are all these lists of the ‘fastest growing / largest/ churches…’ It’s silly – but we are interested!). Something in all of us wants MORE. 3 things you need to know about appetites

1. God created them, sin distorted them. (Responsibility etc is a good thing. Adam & Eve were give that.
2. Appetites are never fully and finally satisfied. Ever! (This is why we get in trouble – we live as if we think there is something or somebody that will do that, and spend our lives making poor decisions until we get to the point where we say, ‘My church is big enough, I sold enough books, my kids are perfect enough…)
3. Your appetites always whisper NOW, and never LATER.

Your ability to manage these appetites WILL determine the direction of your profession, your family and  your life.

How do you know its true? Look at your parents. Some of them handled their appetites well, and at the end of their lives that is reflected – if not, reality bites one way or the other. Who ever lost their ministry over having the wrong doctrine? Not really happening – but if you get decieved by the litte voice that says ‘MORE…’ you will end in embarassment and loss. cf Jacob and Esau.We have sometimes missed the point of the story. In the middle of it there is someting we know little about – the birthright was massive in the ancient culture. 3 components that made it so valued: Financial: (at least twice the inheritance of any of the other kids). The eldest son would become wealthiest fast. Authority: over the rest of the family. Blessing of God. That he would be especially with/upon  the firstborn son. Genesis 25:29 Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished. He said to Jacob, “Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I’m famished!” Notice : The older brother RARELY needs or want anything from the younger brother. But the smarter younger brother recognises – this is my moment – so infrequent. Younger brother thinks, ‘What is so valuable to older brother?’ Starts at the top. ‘If you let me drive your car…’ No. ‘Can I borrow your coat.’ No… and so it goes. Jacob knows, ‘I got the power!’ and so begins the most ridiculous trade in the Bible. A bowl of stew – for a birthright? Who would trade their future for something so valueles and temporary? Who would throw away their reputation, family, influence, future – for something as small and temporary as a bowl of stew?! Who would trade their future for a bowl of stew? You and me! If it was the right bowl of stew. Because appetites are so powerful. You will be tempted to make that trade. Jacob replied, “First sell me your birthright.”32 “Look, I am about to die,” (as if!) Esau said. “What good is the birthright to me?”

Well you get twice the inheritance, the blessing of God etc…

When you get an appetite that blows out of proportion, something happens in your brain, chemical change – 2 things take place: impact bias. (your brain lies to you, tells you – if you will get this thing/person you’ll feel an 8, when in fact it’ll be a 3). This is where we get buyers remorse. The car isn’t as good as we thought. focalism – focuses our mind on one thing now, and everything else blurs. It doesn’t matter how much scripture you know or how lng you’ve ben a Christian, those two things happen… But Jacob said, “Swear to me first.” So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob. It would be great to be able to drop into the story at that poin and help Esau out, and say, “You will have 12 sons, with large families, they’ll become a nation. And be enslaved – and cry out to God… and God will send Moses to deliver them. And when he shows up he will say, ‘I am the God of Abraham, Isaac and Esau.” UNLESS – you take the stew. If you take the stew, it’ll be, ‘I am the God of JACOB.’ And 2000 years from now, God will come himself. And a guy called Matthew will write a book about it, a best seller. and he will list the lineage of the Messiah. it’ll start with… ‘Isaac… the father of ESAU…” Esau – it would be better to DIE than eat that stew. But there was nobody there to reframe that appetite. And there’s nobody next to you and me either. So the story ends with Esau DESPISING his birthright. This tension will NEVER go away. All your appetites will ALWAYS yell, ‘NOW!’ not later. Your only hope is to REFRAME the tension, to recall the promise of the past and the words and dreams of God’s call on your future. The appetite for MORE is valid. But if we let that dictate our leadership we’ll trade our influence. Exercise: TEN YEARS FROM NOW….put that on a blank piece of paper. Fill it in… What do you want to see God do in your marriage, parenting, grand-parenting , church, leadership, work? Question What’s YOUR bowl of stew? What’s hard for you to say NO to. An appetite? What are you talking yourself into? Because your appetite tells your brain to give you reasons to talk yourself into. What are you doing that’s not illegal or immoral but you don’t want anyone to know about. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want to tell your church about. That’s a reframing question – puts the temptation in context. Is there a relationship?  That’s a bowl of stew; will you give up your legacy for your someone who’s NOT actually as hot as your brain lies to you he/she is. Don’t trade what’s most important for a bowl of stew. What’s true of Esau is true of you-

You have no idea of what God wants to accomplish in your life & through your children and grandchildren. Only God knows.

So REFRAME and then REFRAIN. Don’t trade your future for that bowl of stew.