Tag Archives: Richard Reisling

The 5 Questions People Ask Before They’ll Invite A Friend To Your Church

CAN I INVITE MY FRIEND?

Thanks again to Richard Reisling!

Here’s what people ask before hand, before they will ever ask a friend to come along. In other words, if nobody is bringing anyone, here’s why…

Will they feel welcomed? = Hospitality. Whatever your ‘churchmanship/ style’ – the key word would be non -intimidating.

Will they fit in? = Compatibility. People innately pick up on large cultural and social gaps.

Can I feel confident in how the church service will turn out? = Unpredictability. If  those leading the services don’t give some form of consistency (in preaching and worship), I’m not going to invite my friend.

Will my friend get something out of it? = Relevance. How often do your people think, “I wish I’d brought Bill to hear that one…” The more often that happens, the more likely they’ll bring Bill along one week.

Will she understand it? = Comprehension (If an 8 year old can’t understand the sermon, a lot of adults are missing it). That sound too simplistic? Look at the parables – Jesus taught in practical illustrations!

Will anything that can seem strange to the unchurched be explained from scripture? = InterpretationAre we spiritually sensitive enough that if something happens that would freak people out, some leader the up there will help everyone get a handle on what and why, like Peter did to the Pentecost crowds – ‘This… is that…’

Okay – if you’re involved in leading/ planning church services, give yourself a number on these; 0 —–to ———10. 

Then discuss with others how to improve at least one by a practical change in the next couple of weeks. 

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What New People Visiting Your Church Need This Sunday

I got a nice hand written (remember that?) letter from Richard Reisling today thanking me for putting his great stuff on my blog based on my thoughts about the notes I took from his visit. Well it’s my pleasure – and I’m not done yet! Here goes…

What new people need:

I NEED DIRECTION. They need someone to have thought about where they go, explain what’s happening with their kids etc. I was walking through Terminal 4 of Heathrow Airport recently and thought, ‘None of this just happened!’ It took SOMEBODY to think how all these people with all these needs, routes, cases, schedules… get around the place. We’re talking about things like signs here.

(I just made up a Christian joke about not having signs that make people wonder, but you have to be a charismatic to get that one).

TREAT ME AS NORMAL.

Like when someone comes to your house. You know how to be hospitable already. Remove the following phrase, ‘Are you new?’ There’s no way to say it without offending someone. Ask instead, ‘How long have you been going to this church?’ Totally different!

BE EXCITED ABOUT ME.

How do you know if someone coming toward you needs encouragement? They’re breathing! So make people feel special. And let them know that they can have more information IF THEY NEED IT. That leaves THEM in control of their situation.

Have you noticed how it doesn’t work to say, ‘I love you and want to marry you’ on the first date? Well over the top gushiness is perhaps only slightly more off putting than grumpiness in welcoming.

Don’t ask them to raise their hand and admit to being a visitor. Don’t make them feel obligated to give their personal data.  Don’t call visitors out or make them do embarrassing things (by the way what I sometimes do is say, ‘If you’re an EXTROVERT here visiting with us, please let us know by raising your hand’. That works!). Don’t give them a hug. Don’t give them a mug. That doesn’t bring them back. If you think it will, you’re the mug. Instead…

Create something worth coming back to, and I’ll come back!

Give me…

MINISTRY I CAN UNDERSTAND.

In your message help them know, ‘ Here’s where you are right now… and here’s a next step challenge.’

RELATIONSHIPS I can connect to;

if I want to. And tell me how.

A VISION of where the church is headed.

Give me a glimpse of that exciting future you believe in (and if you don’t, do your community a favour, don’t open the doors again until you do).

Anything else? What do you think? 

The next blog will look at the questions your people are asking about whether or not they will bring a friend with them next week. Or ever.  You’ll like that one.

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