This is notes from some teaching and discussion I shared today with our staff team and yesterday with our Grow Group leaders.

I started by saying I have been in ministry long enough to go through times when talking about being a Pastor and leading pastoral ways was regarded as somewhat passé. I fell for the leader as CEO strategist and yes the church can learn from business (and vice versa) but biblically, leadership in the church is to become under-shepherds of His flock.

It’s never ownership – it is stewardship. We don’t lead people for ourselves; we care for people for Him.

And the moment we forget that distinction, everything starts to unravel.

God is the Chief Shepherd – We Are Under-Shepherds

Scripture is unambiguous: there is one true Shepherd, and everyone else leads under His authority.

Jesus identified Himself this way in John 10:11 – “I am the good shepherd.” And He made it clear that shepherding involves laying down your life for others, not building your own kingdom.

1 Peter 5:2–4 reinforces this: “Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care… when the Chief Shepherd appears…”

Hebrews 13:20 calls Jesus “that great Shepherd of the sheep.”

So if you’re a house group leader, ministry team lead, pastor, or in any position of spiritual responsibility – you’re not the owner. You’re not the therapist. You’re not the saviour.

You are an under-shepherd, temporarily entrusted with people Jesus already loves more than you ever could.

Who Can Be a Shepherd?

Only someone who knows the reality of Psalm 23:1 – “The Lord is my shepherd…”

You can lead without being a Christian, but you can’t shepherd others for Him if you haven’t first been shepherded yourself. You’re still a lost sheep.

And then you have to keep on coming to the Lord to be shepherded! You can’t lead people to green pastures or through the valley of the shadow of death if you’re running on empty or haven’t been there. You can’t restore souls if your own soul is bone-dry. This is why pastoral burnout is so epidemic. We try to give what we haven’t received. We lead from depletion instead of overflow.

But when we keep the truth central that we are under-shepherds, not the Chief Shepherd, something shifts.

What Remembering This Brings

1. Humility

They are His sheep, not yours.

That person you’re frustrated with? Jesus loves them more than you do.
That person who won’t change? Jesus is more patient with them than you are.
That person who’s draining you? Jesus died for them while they were still His enemies.

When you remember they belong to Him, it takes the ego out of leadership. You stop counting sheep to compare with others because you stop needing them to validate your ministry. The only reason you count them is to go out for the ones who are missing. You stop measuring your worth by their response.

2. Confidence

He helps us do what He calls us to.

If Jesus has entrusted you with people, He will equip you to care for them. Not perfectly. Not without mistakes – HE is the only really GOOD Shepherd!

You don’t need to be the expert on everything. You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to believe what Philippians 1:6 promises: “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.”

That applies to you and the people you’re caring for.

3. Freedom

This means the outcomes are not all on us.

This is the one that changes everything because if it works we don’t take the credit and if it doesn’t we aren’t to blame.

You are responsible for praying, not the results.
You are responsible for faithfulness, not for fruitfulness.
You are responsible for obedience, not for outcomes.

Read that again. Let it sink in. Stick it on the wall.

You can guide, encourage, teach, and walk alongside – but you cannot:

• Make anyone else change
• Carry consequences that belong to others
• Replace the work of the Holy Spirit

Jesus modelled this perfectly. He loved more than anyone, spoke truth constantly, and then left people with a choice. He didn’t chase every outcome or rescue every consequence.

He trusted the Father with people.
And so can we.

The Trap of Taking Responsibility FOR People Instead of TO People

One of the greatest temptations in pastoral leadership is crossing the line from caring for people to taking responsibility for people.

When we cross that line:

• Love becomes control
• Compassion becomes codependency
• Helping becomes enabling

We disempower them. We exhaust ourselves. And we step into a role that was never ours to carry.

Previous LAUNCH speaker Dr Henry Cloud, in his groundbreaking book Boundaries, writes:

“Boundaries define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom.”

He continues:

“When you are dealing with someone who is hurting, remember that your boundaries are both necessary for you and helpful for them. If you have been enabling them to be irresponsible, your limit-setting may nudge them toward responsibility.”

Healthy boundaries don’t make you less loving. They make you more loving – because they clarify what is yours to own and what isn’t.

What Healthy Pastoral Boundaries Look Like

1 Peter 5:3 warns against “lording it over those entrusted to you.”

That doesn’t just mean being domineering. It also means taking inappropriate responsibility – you are not the Lord! Playing God in someone else’s life instead of pointing them to the real God is stopping Him not helping them.

The Rod and the Staff

Psalm 23 mentions the shepherd’s rod and staff for a reason.

The rod protects – it defends against threats.
The staff guides – it gently redirects the wandering.

Both are tools of boundaries.

A shepherd without a rod lets wolves in.
A shepherd without a staff lets sheep wander into danger.

Boundaries aren’t harsh. They’re loving. They keep the good in and the bad out.

Cloud puts it this way:

“Boundaries are a ‘litmus test’ for the quality of our relationships. Those people in our lives who can respect our boundaries will love our wills, our opinions, our separateness. Those who can’t respect our boundaries are telling us that they don’t love our nos. They only love our yeses, our compliance.”

If someone only values you when you say yes to them, that’s not a healthy relationship. That’s control dressed up as need.

Questions for Reflection

If you’re in any form of church leadership, ask yourself:

1. Am I leading as an under-shepherd, or have I slipped into ownership?
   Do I see these people as “my group” or “His sheep”?

2. Where have I taken responsibility FOR people instead of TO people?
   Am I carrying weight that was never mine to bear?

3. How does knowing Jesus is the Chief Shepherd change my leadership?
   Does it bring relief? Humility? Confidence?

4. Where do I need to hand people back to Him again?
   Who am I holding too tightly? Who am I trying to fix?

The Freedom of Being an Under-Shepherd

When you remember you’re not the Chief Shepherd, something lifts.

You stop trying to save everyone.
You stop measuring your worth by people’s progress.
You stop carrying guilt for things that were never yours to control.

Instead, you pray. You stay faithful. You obey what He shows you. And you trust the Chief Shepherd with the results.

That’s not irresponsible. That’s biblical.

And it’s the only way to lead for the long haul without burning out.

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Next in this series: How to Care for Lambs, Sheep, and Shepherds: The Three Levels of Pastoral Leadership (I’ll make the link to Part 2 live soon when published – subscribe so you don’t miss it!)

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Share this post with church leaders, house group leaders, or anyone carrying pastoral responsibility. The reminder that we’re under-shepherds, not the Chief Shepherd, might be exactly what they need to hear today.