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How Scripture, trauma awareness, and the Holy Spirit meet in heart-to-heart leadership

This blog comes out of a talk I gave at ‘Ivy Central’ off the back of some basic trauma awareness training I recently underwent. It led into an extended prayer and ministry time last Sunday evening 25th March -available to watch now on Ivy’s YouTube channel or you can listen to all our talks free at ivy church.org/talks – why not subscribe or write a review while you’re there?

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I recently went for a brief introduction to being more trauma-informed, where I learned so much while only scratching the surface but the thought I came away with is:
It’s hard being human – and we all have processing to do.

Not everything that happens to us can be put into words. Some experiences live deeper than language – in the body, in memory, in the subconscious. But they affect us more than we know. That’s why healing so often begins not with explanations, but with presence.

As leaders, what if our role is not to force clarity, but to create safe space.

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Validation Comes Before Restoration

Validation is simple, but powerful:

• This happened.
• It affected me.
• It was real.

Validation is not giving pain or the enemy the final word.
I love that scripture calls us prisoners of hope. If you know Jesus, you will always keep bumping into hope. Hope is always being offered – even when it doesn’t yet feel accessible.

But hope does not heal the hurt or hard place we refuse to acknowledge.

Read the psalms and see – Scripture never asks people to deny the reality of their experience.
It validates it – then invites God into it and I realise now how much the order is important.

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A Realistic Theology of Suffering (Held With Hope)

Jesus said two things we must hold together:

1. “In this world you will have trouble.”
2. “But take heart – I have overcome the world.”

There will be pain. Leaders who deny this may think they are honouring God, but only create shame.
But there is always hope. Leaders who forget this leave people stuck.

This is not a ‘problem’ to be solved this side of heaven, it’s a tension to hold. Mature leadership lives in that tension.

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“And It Came to Pass” – God’s Way of Marking Middle Moments

One of the most repeated phrases in Scripture – especially in older translations – is easy to miss: if you never read the KJV you’ll not know it’s there nearly 400 times, because modern translators skip it or smooth it over by simply saying something like ‘and’, or ‘then..’

Here’s the phrase – that describes a process.

“And it came to pass.”

In Hebrew and Greek, it’s a narrative marker.
Something happens. (IT!) Then time passes. Then God moves the story on.

What’s powerful is what the phrase doesn’t say.

It never says:

• It came to stay.
• It came to define you forever.

IT came, whatever it is – (or now was, because, it passed).

Every suffering in Scripture comes with an expiry date – even if the length of that season is unclear at the time.

God marks the middly moments.
And especially the painful ones.

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Biblical Leaders Lived Between Promise and Reality

Joseph endured betrayal, slavery, false accusation, and prison.
Scripture doesn’t rush his story though we of course can speed read it. Then…

“And it came to pass – at the end of two full years…”

Two full years of empty silence. Of waiting. Sitting chained in injustice.
But in those two years we read that God was with him. God was working on him before he could work through him.

David lived on the run from a mad king, wearing an invisible crown while hiding in a cave surrounded by those everyone else wrote off.
Fear came. Waiting came. Isolation came.

But it came to pass. They all stepped out of the cave and became mighty men.

Leaders let’s remember:
the cave does not have to be the conclusion.

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Pain Lives in the Body – Not Just the Memory

One of the most helpful insights from trauma awareness is this:
pain doesn’t just live in what we remember – it lives in how we feel unsafe.

Some moments freeze time internally.
Even when we know the truth, part of us may still react as if danger is present.

That kind of healing needs:

• presence, not pressure
• patience, not platitudes
• safety, not speed

Leaders don’t heal people by telling them to “move on.”
We heal by staying with them long enough for fear to loosen its grip.

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VIP: From the Professional Self to the Vulnerable Self

We were told a model I found helpful, that most of us can live and then lead from what could be called the Professional Self – capable, coping, functional, impressive.

But God is not interested in a relationship with our performing professional (Pharisee?)

Beneath that is the Vulnerable Self – where sadness, anger, grief, and shame can live.
And often, deeper still, is the Inner Child – which I believe helps us access the vulnerable self if we ‘change and become like little children’ in the place of play, creativity, trust, and joy.

Pain tries to shut that part down.
Maturity tells us to cope.
Jesus says, “Change – become like little children…”

The most mature people are not the most guarded – they are the most secure in being the beloved. That’s why creativity helps healing. Not comparing.
Not performance – play.
Not professionalism – presence.

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The Holy Spirit Comes as Counsellor, Not Critic

Leaders set the tone for how God is experienced.

The Holy Spirit comes:

• gently
• patiently
• personally

Not to hurry us forward, but to meet us where we are –
deep calling unto deep – so He can lead us where we’re going.

What came was real.
If it hurt, that matters.
And it will not last forever.

I love something I heard Max Lucado say once, a phrase he has used as a Pastor many times and I have also used it since.

“You’ll get through this. It won’t be painless. It won’t be quick. But God will use this mess for good. In the meantime don’t be foolish or naïve. But don’t despair either. With God’s help you will get through this.”

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What This Means for Leaders

If we want to help heal hearts:

• We validate before we motivate
• We make space instead of forcing outcomes
• We trust the Holy Spirit’s pace
• We honour the middle moments

Because what came, will pass – God makes all things beautiful in HIS time…
but the way people were treated in the middle will make all the difference to that.

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Let’s remember and remind each other –

It came.
It mattered.
And it will pass.

But Jesus is the same – yesterday, today and forever.

God is present in the and –
leading us forever

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