Needs overrule the golden rule

Very often when talking to couples preparing for marriage, or those struggling through it, I recommend a book called ‘His Needs, Her Needs‘ by Willard F Harley. Dr Harley lists the emotional needs of men and women. He writes about the invisible ‘love bank’ inside all of us which needs to keep on being filled up – because life is making withdrawals all the time. I don’t agree with his lists, but the concept of emotional needs is undeniable. It’s not wrong to have needs, in fact we were all made with physical needs, spiritual needs, relational intimacy needs. If you were to stop the average person in the street, “What was the first thing that was bad in the Bible?” most who even had pub quiz knowledge of the story would say, “It was the snake. That snake who got them to eat the forbidden fruit.” Wrong. Phone a friend. Or use a lifeline, or better still, read Genesis 2:18 God said, “It’s not good for the man to be alone.” So God invented marriage, where Husband and wife […]