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Seek – and you will find (Matthew 7:7)

Imagine someone who spent years reading books about marriage, listening to podcasts about marriage, attending conferences about marriage, and talking constantly about their spouse – but never actually spent any time with that person.

Or someone constantly talks about their favourite holiday destination. They knew its history, could describe its beaches, recommend its restaurants, and show you photographs – but they never actually went there anymore.

And do we sometimes approach God in a similar way?

We can read about Him.
Study Him.
Discuss Him.
Debate Him.
Listen to (or preach) sermons about Him.

All good things, but none are the same as being with Him. A menu’s not a meal. A travel brochure’s not a holiday. A photograph is not a relationship.

In this post I want to discuss how I am learning that the purpose of prayer is not merely to think about God but to encounter Him. To behold Him and be held by him.

The Pastors Guilty Secret

Many church leaders spend more time talking about God than being with Him, just as many Christians think prayer is more about talking to God more than learning how to be with Him. I include myself in both categories.

I’m not saying when we pray we don’t ask, thank, read and think about God, but there comes a point in every growing relationship where conversation gives way to companionship.

Last night as Zoe and I sat together, still deeply in love after 40 years together, I looked back and remembered our first dates when we needed words for everything, asking questions, telling stories, explaining ourselves, and yes we still do such things – but we have also learned to simply to enjoy one another’s presence. The same can happen in prayer.

There is a stage of prayer where we seek God. And there is a stage where we begin to find Him. One is about activity, the other – attention.

An Ancient Voice

I am reading the work of Michael Molinos (1628-1696) right now – a Spanish spiritual writer well outside my own tradition! It’s helping me as I seek that elusive intimacy with the Lord I long for that’s not been satisfied by formulas, journalling, apps or other activities.

1. Prayer Begins With Seeking

Most of us start here. We bring requests, or our framework – like ACTS I have used a lot.

We think through Scripture, put some worship songs on, ask God questions as we reason and reflect.

This is good and can be necessary as we start – but it’s not the end (He is).

Just as a ship needs a voyage before it reaches a harbour, these practices help bring us toward God. But the harbour is not the voyage. The map is not the destination.

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2. Prayer Deepens Into Presence

At some point prayer becomes less about words and more about awareness, Less information – more intimacy.

We stop trying to convince or telling or reminding ourselves that God is near (if I am with Zoe I don’t have to keep telling her so), and simply become attentive to His presence, as the eyes of our hearts open.

The goal is no longer to think about God – and simply to behold Him. This ties in with an incredible dream I had about 5 years ago where I saw a man made funfair which great and well known church leaders of my acquaintance were making, alongside a vision of that throne of molten gold on which the Lord was seated. I asked ‘How do we make that instead? And a voice replied, “You don’t make that! Just BEHOLD!”

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3. Seeking Is Cooking. Finding Is Savouring

Many Christians spend years preparing the meal but never sitting down to enjoy it. Many church leaders exchange and recommend recipes but don’t savour the food.

We gather knowledge, listen to sermons or preach them. Some of us love to study theology and read books about God, I love to take notes on others. All of these things are meant to bring us into that eternal life sustaining relationship.

But the meal is communion – not the recipe.

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4. The Fortress Within

In my last blog I alluded to that throne I saw in the dream – and now I realise that as well as there being a throne in heaven, whatever storm is raging around you, there is a fortress within you where scripture says Christ dwells in us by His Spirit, an inner place where the Lord reigns.

A room of sovereign rest, untouched by anxiety, headlines, criticism, uncertainty, temptation, or fear.

When trouble comes, our instinct is to do something – run around in the storm, but prayer is and invitation us to enter the fortress, return to the place where Christ is enthroned, untroubled – and extending his sceptre toward us.

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5. Why Silence Feels So Difficult

Our culture trains us to do something, prayer invites us to be with Someone.

I am so often uncomfortable without noise (on my runs these days I am taking my phone less so I enjoy being in nature rather than being distracted by podcasts and Audible).

But I have a yearning that’s rarely satisfied without productivity. I am uncomfortable so often throughout the day without constant stimulation – but behind all the noise, the problem is not God’s absence but that I am so often distracted I remain unaware of his presence.

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6. Relationship Cannot Be Rushed

I’m not offering another technique as I learn to behold (and be held). Prayer techniques can be learned and taught quickly. Relationship with Christ cannot.

Again, a recipe starts with The Method. A relationship doesn’t.

Methods may help of course. They can give us structure to cut through distraction. They can teach us healthy rhythms. They can help us begin when we don’t know where to start. The Lord’s Prayer itself gives us a pattern. Scripture gives us God’s thoughts in written form and language for powerful intercession. Christian traditions offer practices that have served believers well for centuries.

But they can also replace the destination by giving us a feeling of progression.

Relationships grow through presence. Through attention. Through time together.

The same is true with God. He spells love, T I M E, as we all do.

Perhaps you started this blog hoping I’d give a shortcut, a spiritual hack to intimacy with Christ. I have looked for them too! But there are no shortcuts to friendship, only the slow path work of showing up, day after day, returning our attention to Him, moment by moment. That’s how we learning to recognise His voice above the others, discover His character above the clamour, surrendering our will to His.

The Question Of Prayer

Perhaps the question isn’t that guilt inducing one of whether you are praying ‘enough.’ (When would I ever say I have had enough of my wife?!)

Perhaps the better question is, Am I learning to be with God? To simply ‘behold and be held’.

Not merely talking to Him, asking for things from Him, or even thinking about Him but quietly, attentively, lovingly resting in His presence – knowing that he loves me and my intention to be with Him more than anything I do for Him, including having had ‘a good time in prayer.’

Seeking has its place, but finding is where it’s at.

He answered them and said, The kingdom of God cometh not with observation: Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you. Luke 17:20 KJV

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