Tag: Men

CONNECT to GROW

Most people are not ashamed of Christ, but they are ashamed of their church. If you’re begging people to invite their friends, you have to stop and think. If they’re not naturally doing it, why not? We’d better self diagnose.

CONNECTIVITY is the key to church growth.

 I’m still detailing some of the learnings from Richard Reisling’s visit here. 

He said connectivity is ‘your abililty to connect with me and show me you have something to offer of solutions to what I’m looking for in life.’ 

Related to the previous post, people will come in and think, ‘What can I learn from them about organising my life and priorities, if they can’t even organise parking?’ 

The apostle Paul wrote, ‘I became LIKE them, to WIN them.’ What does that mean? 

It means, he was thinking, “How do I get into their mindset to connect with them? People who are feeling weak or strong, those who are rich or poor, Jew, Greek.” He owned the connection issue that it’s my responsibility to get into their HEADS – so the gospel can get into their HEARTS. I have to show I understand people in various life settings. (By the way Frank Green did a great job of this yesterday in his Good Friday 20 talks back to back! I’ll be putting some of the content from my notes on that on the blog soon and the talks themselves will be available from the Ivy iTunes podcast feed). 

Interestingly, Paul also categorised people – knowing  that people think in similar ways to the groups they’re in. There are common perspectives we hold. And he adapted to meet them, right where they live.

For example – imagine you get invited to watch a football match. (Reisling talked baseball but who knows anything about that?) 

You’re not into football. You don’t what to go, but someone asks and eventually you go – initially right up at the back and high up in the cheap seats at the top – to check it out. You’re not going to commit too much (at those prices!). But then by the end of the match you have to admit you kind of liked it enough to go some other time. and you do. Once or twice. 

After a while you start to really into it – buy a scarf, and to get a better view and atmosphere you go down a few levels of seats, maybe buy a season ticket. (This is exactly what happened to a friend of mine who ended up joining a cult called Chelsea). 

After more time someone notices you’re ‘into football’ and maybe you get invited to play in an amateur football team – because now we like football. We’re committed. We even get on the field! 

Church leaders need to ask ourselves, ‘What am I doing today – perhaps especially in the services we put on, to connect to the people out there in the far back seats, just checking this out? What’s going to talk to them? What’s their next step closer to the field of play.’ Don’t talk to everyone like they’re already committed. I was in a device recently where the preacher kept referring to ‘We Christians,’ and I wondered how that would feel to a visitor not yet ready to class themselves as a Christ follower. We don’t connect by having the same message to everyone. 

Jesus didn’t preach the ‘eat my flesh and blood’ message to the 5000. He fed THEM bread and fish. Then he  sharpened down the challenge, to those who were ready for it. There were messages for the crowd, the core, the committed. 

In churches we have to challenge people appropriately to the level they are at. We have to reach and connect to people at their particular level. We have to have a heart for every level. We need to have a shallow end – graded and going to a deep end. Why? So people know, ‘I can bring someone,’ then trust grows. Connectivity creates the easy invite. 

We have to be simple enough to understand – and powerful enough to change lives. Then people will want to tell their friends and we won’t have to ‘market.’ The truth is, if you’ve had a life changing experience with Christ you want everyone to know about it. 

Most people are not ashamed of Christ, but they are ashamed of their church. If you’re begging people to invite their friends, you have to stop and think. If they’re not naturally doing it, why not? We’d better self diagnose. 

 

Maybe they’re embarrassed of the pink and lavender decor. The yelling mad lady. The 2 hour sermons. There are reasons! 

 

Ask, ‘What’s the purpose of this service?’ 

Who’s going to be there?

Be intentional about what we’re doing. Plan! God will order your steps – IF you have a plan. 

 

How do you minister on the different levels? 

 

Upper stands – INSPIRE them. CHALLENGE them. When you’ve earned the right. They need a glimpse of hope. (Yeah, I’ll give that church a try, what’s the worst that could happen?). It’s fun, too. 

 

Lower stands – TEACHING & TRAINING. How to understand. ‘Here’s how we do this.’  It’s about coaching them into being able to PLAY. 

 

Playing the game. DEVELOP. Learn to specialise and play to your strengths. 

 

People can then have confidence about what they bring their friends to. We can say, ‘If you want this – come to this. if you want this – this is for you to bring a friend…’ 

 

You CAN do this in one service. Jesus did it to 5000. You just have to be aware that there are people at different levels and you have to engage at all those levels. We get the congregation we preach to. 

 

if you preach to only the DEEP people that’s all you’ll get

if you connect only to the people on the edge – that’s who you’ll get. 

 

Carl Beech: Iron Sharpens Iron

Here’s my notes on Carl’s recent talk when we were at Soul Survivor, Watford. Great stuff and it was a sell out! Looking forward to  playing at home for the ‘North’ version in January! Details of that so you can book in here (why not organise a group from your church?); http://www.new-wine.org/events/mens-daysIron Sharpens Iron IRON SHARPENS IRON Life’s up and down, and often gets very hard – and we men retreat too often. Testosterone gives us ‘fight or flight’ but we run too much too soon, rather than go through the muck and mud. Romans 5:3 says ‘We glory in our sufferings’ why – because of what it produces! If we didn’t go through this we’ll be spoilt brats who sulk when something goes wrong. 9 out of 12 apostles were killed. William Carey saw his wife die. Peter preaches and sees 3000 saved, Stephen says, ‘I’ll have a crack at that.’ And gets 3000 bricks on his head. This helps us understand why so many men are down and depressed. The measure of a man is how you hold […]

The most important thing about family?

I sometimes get asked to write for a men’s magazine called Sorted. The editor, Steve Legg, contacted me a couple of weeks ago to ask if I’d write an article on the subject of Family, but the deadline was just a couple of days away. We were getting ready to go up North, for what was had been booked as a holiday yet ended up as a very busy time, which I’ll write about again. Anyway, I initially figured I could squeeze the time in to write the article, along with all the other things I had to do for work. All it would take was : less helping at home, spending less time with Zoe and the kids, creating more stress for myself and everyone, putting in more time in the study – doing ‘the work of the Lord.’ I could probably even do it so they’d all feel guilty if they tried interrupting such important work, I’m a past master at it. Then again, I nearly lost my family doing just that years ago – ended up in […]